PAUL WAS ABDUCTED BY ALIENS THEY CLONED HIM AND ERASED HIS MEMORY AND EVERYONE ELSE'S MEMORY TOO EXCEPT MINE AND THEN THEY SENT A PAUL CLONE TO EARTH TO SPREAD RUMORS THAT PAUL WAS DEAD BUT NOBODY BELIEVED THEM AND JOHN HID SATANIC MESSAGES IN ALL THE SONGS CAUSE HE WAS SECRETLY SATAN (I KNOW THIS BECAUSE SATAN IS SIX INCHES TALLER THAN JESUS) AND THEN THE ALIENS ABDUCTED HIM TOO AND BRAINWASHED EVERYONE INTO BELIEVING THE WALRUS WAS PAUL WHEN IT WAS ACTUALLY RINGO AND GEORGE WAS THE EGGMAN AND PAUL WAS THE ALIENS AND PETE BEST EXPLODED ONSTAGE FOR NO REASON